I can still remember the night my husband and I ever spoke about the thought of marriage. He shyly asked me if I would ever consider marrying him, without hesitation my answer was yes! We knew that with us being so young, him 19 and I was only 17, it would be tricky but nothing ever felt more right. Things moved a lot quicker than we had originally planned. February 27th he popped the question, I said YES! We had planned to have a summer wedding in July. Unfortunately things took a slight turn when we found out he would be stationed in Japan.
If you know military, you know the loads of paper work there is for everything. To get a head start on all that we decided to get married by proxy. This allows service members to get legally married with out actually being here. So with that the day right after my 18th birthday, I went to the court house with my mom and best friend and got married. Then the wedding planning began for December 12.
It takes confidence to pull off a young marriage
Though I had the loving support from my parents with every step I took along the way, not everyone was as accepting. There were family members that didn’t agree with what we wanted to do. They thought that we were making a big mistake and most of them wanted us to wait and not rush into this. But we knew what we wanted so we stood our ground with or without their support because we had each other.
As for me still being in high school, I got a lot of talk behind my back. Friends would text me and tell me what they were hearing, it was a little tough. In the end what they had to say meant nothing and it was easy for me to just push it off and go about my days.
I wasn’t the most confident person to begin with, the exact opposite to be honest. I was an introvert who looked for every excuse to avoid a social situation. Although with time, my husband started to notice that with everything going on my confidence started to build up.
People will tell you, “You’re giving up so much”
I’d here it all the time, “You’re so young”, “You still have your whole life ahead of you”, and “You’re not gonna be able to do anything”. What they really mean is…you’re giving up your party life. The one where most teens would rather have the full college experience than be married. To some people it might seem like much but I never seemed to be too interested.
You really gain so much more
Maybe it’s that we’re all at different maturity levels, but what people don’t understand is that while we may be so young so many good things come from this.
You have a best friend that’s gonna be there no matter what. When things get tough they’ll be right there with you going through it all. Someone to laugh with endlessly. A shoulder to sleep on every night. The greatest support system you will ever have because they’ll be your number one cheerleader at the front line to tell you that “you can do it!” They push and motivate you because they see everything you don’t about yourself.
Scrutiny never ends
Silly me for thinking the scrutiny would ever end, but just seems to only get worse. We were “just a couple or married kids,” so our decisions were not taken seriously, second guessed, and we were often told others knew best because “our lack of experience.”
I get it we as young people can be a little naïveté, but we appreciate all the help we can get along the way. We would just like to be treated as the young adults we are.
Marriage is what you make of it
This week coming into our first full year of marriage has taught me so much. Everything we did to get where we are today has made me so thankful, I would honestly go back and do it all over again if it means getting to be this happy.
So at any age, marriage is what you make of it. So while we could blame everything on us being so young, we chose not to. We took an unbreakable vow and we intend to keep it that way.